Hero in the Mirror

Humans love to create heroes. You look up to your celebrities and athletes. You have a special place in your hearts for your spiritual guides and leaders. You hang on their every word. You rush in to protect them when they are under attack. Even when the attack is justified.

When they let you down, you fall hard. It is as though a dream has died. Santa Claus does not bring the presents. The Easter Bunny does not hide the eggs. It hits you as though you were still a vulnerable child.

You tend to pick heroes just as you pick romantic partners. You see in them, the qualities that you feel you lack. You see a level of ability you wish you had and believe that somehow, your hero worship will bring it to you.

It is alright to admire a person for their talents and abilities. You can respect a person for the guidance they give, or the lessons they offer, but worshipping them, takes the pressure off of you. You do not need to succeed, someone is doing it for you. You do not need to be brave. Someone has enough courage for a hundred people.

This is another reason why you are so affected by fallen heroes. Now, you are expected to do the work yourself. You are the one who must play the instrument, sing the song, write the book, run for office. Success is a lot of work. Much easier to let someone else do it while you complain that you could never be that way.

You can be that way. You can be any way you choose.

Look to the people you admire. What qualities do they have? Are these qualities that you lack? Or do you just not do something as well as they do? Do you resonate with the words of a particular leader or teacher? Are you putting into practice what they teach, or do you just stand back and admire the words?

Look in the mirror, and know, that you are amazing! You are capable! You can do anything you set your mind to and no one else can do the unique job that you were put on this Earth to do.

Then when you find that the celebrity whose courage you admire, ran and hid in a crisis, a beautiful actress had plastic surgery, the athlete you have been trying to emulate took illegal drugs, you will be fine, because the qualities you admire, are inside of you. You have become your own hero!

Jinnzania's side notes: when I was a child, I thought it would be fun to be famous. I pretended to sing and dance for an invisible audience. I thought it would be great for people to look at me lovingly, admiring my talent and putting me on a pedestal. I was always looking outward, because I was never good enough. Whenever an idea inspired me, I would quickly let it go, because someone else could do it better. I never tried, so I never failed. I didn't have the patience or confidence when I was younger and as I got older it seemed that everything took too long to learn, or I didn't dare as I was somehow unworthy.

In the past year, I've been thrust from my comfort zone, so failing and looking silly became less of an issue. So, I've tried new things and new ways of doing things. I've taken chances and taken bigger steps. As a result, I've learned that I am a unique and powerful being. I have begun to appreciate my strengths and work around my weaknesses. I love being me! I wouldn't want to take on the experience of another no matter how much I love and admire them.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go, the citizens of Earth need me! Fairy powers, ACTIVATE!

Sticks and Stones

Words. They are simply sounds that pass through your lips that have over millenia, been given meaning. You can say the meanest thing that your mind can think of and fail to do any physical damage to the person you are talking to. So, words cannot hurt. Not if you don't allow them to. If you allow their energy to penetrate your aura, they can not only hurt, they can kill.

This gives you dual responsibility. You must not allow the words of others to affect you. You can shield yourself, walk away or simply do not listen. Know that the words are a reflection of the person who speaks them. You need not be affected by them at all.

This also means that you are responsible for the words you speak. Not every person is properly shielded. Some have issues with confidence and self-esteem. The wrong words spoken at the wrong time, can send a person into an emotional tailspin. They are responsible for the reality they create, but the karma your words create will come back to you, always.

A person who feels well but goes to the doctor and is told he or she is sick, will usually become so. You have great respect for your doctors, many are great healers, but do not let them dicatate how you feel.

People such as doctors, healers, politicians and celebrities are percieved to have words that carry more meaning than the rest of you. This is not true, unless you decide that it is.

Your own words are very powerful. Your negative self talk will always bring about the situation that you are fearing.

Is it hard to earn a living, you say? Then it shall be. Is it a struggle to lose weight? Very well then, enjoy the struggle. You cannot pass the test because you are just not smart enough? Perhaps you will decide that you are smarter when you are re-taking it. That would be a better choice. You doubt your ability to manifest, yet you do it all the time, and brilliantly! So why not manifest something you actually want?

Listen to your self talk. Look at the issues you have. What lies have you told yourself about shortcomings and imperfections?

Would you like to change your life? Then change your story.....and give it a happy ending.

Jinnzania's side notes: As a writer, I have been learning to use my words very carefully. I have been more observant of the words of others and how they affect me as well as how they affect the person speaking. When I find that life has become a struggle, I look to the words and the story I've been telling myself. In the days when I owned birds, I was always made aware of things that I was saying. The birds would repeat them at random. If a bird picks it up, then your'e saying it a lot, or with a lot of emphasis. If you don't have a parrot, find a friend. One who will be honest with you in a loving way (yes, this is possible), and ask them to monitor your words. It can be a very illuminating experience. When something comes up, think about how you might say it differently. Make it a game, have fun with it. If it gets ridiculous, and makes you laugh, then you're already in a better place.

A Message Just For You

Shhhhh! The Universe is talking. It has a special message just for you. It is too bad that you will most likely ignore it. You will turn away and cover your ears, because, you don't like the way the message has been conveyed, or do not approve of the messenger. Perhaps the messenger does not have lofty credentials or has not written a book. Perhaps their clothing or hairstyle is not to your liking. Perhaps the messenger is a two year old child, or a dog, and you are a cat person.

Spirit has a message for everyone. Every minute of every day, and it is personal. It is what you need to hear. Just like the story of the blind men and the elephant, the same message might be interpreted differently by different people, or affected by who is giving the message.

Every prayer, petition or question is answered. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you, sometimes the answer, is "wait, we have a better idea".

Life is not meant to be a mystery. It is easily understood without years of work and schooling.
You do not need to buy a book, rent a DVD or see an inspirational speaker in person to get the answers that you need. While these things can be helpful, the answers are at your fingertips without having to spend a single penny.

It is much easier to see the message if you give up judgement and open your ears. Often people will close their ears when they hear the word, "God", for instance, because of a painful religious upbringing, or another person might not want to hear a message from your "God" because He is quoted from a different book, or He is She. Being open means understanding that the message might be, "this is not what you want to do". A person whose actions have offended you might have something meaningful to say, but you will miss it because you cannot bring yourself to believe that they have anything important to teach you.

Children and animals are among the most pure channels for Divine wisdom, but we have been taught that someone without formal education cannot have anything of importance to say. And there is a belief that animals have no souls, so how could they be messengers? They can be messengers because no one has told them they cannot be. No one has instilled that self-doubt, that would keep them from believing it.

Sometimes those who have wronged you have messages. They do not realize they are messengers. They speak as though speaking for themselves, but they have something to say that has meaning for you, if you can put aside your feelings and hear it. This does not mean you condone what they have done. It's not about them. The message is for you. They are not the message, but the channel, unconscious or not. Do not let them spoil it for you. It is your gift from Spirit.

When you want an answer, or need to hear a special message, then ask; make the request; and listen. The message may be from God. Perhaps She is trying to tell you something.

Jinnzania's side notes: I was once asked by a man with whom I was having a relationship: "Why don't you love yourself as much as other people love you?" Ironically, when he proved himself to be a liar and a manipulator and caused more pain and heartbreak than I had ever felt in my life, I found out that his words were true. Many people did love me. Some of them so much that they wouldn't allow me to sell myself short. They came out of the woodwork to offer assistance any hour of the day or night. I had forgotten that message, because I was trying to forget him. The message had nothing to do with him. He had no amazing Divine wisdom. He could have read that on a bumper sticker. Spirit used him to send me a message. As I've learned to forgive and move on, I've become more open. I still struggle with that message, but it is coming in more clearly. If only it had come from my dog :(

The "V" Word

Daily you are bombarded with the message that you are not safe. You must be on the defensive at all times. The world is not a kind and gentle place. You learn to run away before trying anything new. You go on the attack before analyzing the actual data to know what the danger is. Be safe, be prepared. The safest thing you could do is to leave your physical body and leave this Earth. Safety is safety. It will bring you a safe life, but not a satisfying one.

It is okay to be vulnerable at times. It does not make you weak.

If you constantly kept up your guard, you would never be able to interact with another person. Which would mean, you would miss out on the ultimate experience of love and sexual relationships. Making love is about being vulnerable. In a good experience, you stand naked and vulnerable in front of someone you can hopefully trust, and let yourself go completely, put aside your dignity and feel and react to what is happening. People who cannot completely let go and be vulnerable at this time miss out on an amazingly satisfying experience, of body, mind and heart.

Creativity comes from vulnerablity. You do not want to believe this. You want to feel that you are in control of the experience. Would it surprise you to know that you create nothing? The ego cannot create. It does, however, have a gift for interrupting creation. Creativity comes when you open your heart, and allow Spirit to work through your eyes, your hands, your voice, your body..........The gift that the truly creative people possess is the gift of being open to channel creative energy. The clearer the channel the more amazing the creation, but first the person must drop their defenses, and allow themselves to be vulnerable. This is the state in which you create. It is okay to protect your workspace and limit your interactions with others at this time. Do not allow your moments of creative vulnerability to leave you defenseless to those who prey on weakness. You may not control the experience, but you can control the conditions surrounding it. This is your right.

Many people who work in the field of spirituality, psychics, channelers, mediums and teachers, must allow themselves to be vulnerable in order to bring in clear guidance and information. Many psychics fail to protect themselves during these times. They walk around vulnerable and open to those who would prey upon them. Even the simple act of meditation can leave you vulnerable, but if you remember that you are in control of the experience, you can protect yourself, while still allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to open to the message Spirit has for you and others. Many experienced psychics have people around them to watch them during this vulnerable time. This frees up the psychic to receive the highest level of guidance as they do not need to fear for their safety. Also experienced psychics know how to "turn off" the guidance they receive when they are tired or not in a place of safety.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to allow yourself moments of vulnerability. By letting down your defenses when you are in a safe place, you allow your gifts to come through clearly. You experience life more fully. You create with ease and love with your whole heart. The "V" word is not a dirty word, it is not a bad experience, if you use it correctly.

Jinnzania's side notes: I've loved to create for as long as I can remember. As child I would dance for hours, when I got older, I also found I could write poetry and stories. I never knew when one of these creative episodes would "hit" me, and there were often dry spells in between. It was an elusive spark that would quickly go out if it didn't "catch" it. I have learned that I am more in control of the experience than I originally thought I was. I have only to ask for something to come through and it will. As long as I don't try to control the experience and take over, what comes through is good.

I once heard a man describe poetry as a nasty little creature that had to be struggled with and defeated before a poem could be written. I could never write that way. If the struggle becomes too much then I know that ego has taken over and it's time to quit for the day, or write a different poem. Channeling creative energy feels easy and smooth for me. I always wonder, "why didn't I think of this sooner". But I know some people like to fight with the muse. Forgive me if I"d rather pour him a drink and have my way with him. I'm just like that :)

You're the Boss!

You might feel, sometimes, that your life has gotten away from you. Things are spiraling out of your control. The Universe is a big bully and you are the one it has chosen to pick on. You've been visualizing so hard your third eye is bloodshot. "They" are out to get you on both sides of the veil!

That would get you out of a lot of responsibility, and as we know, you are not lazy, so let's change this perception right now.

You are here to do a job. You are in charge of that enterprise. You are also in charge of as many employees and assistants as you need to complete that job. Yes, you are the boss.

So what kind of boss are you? Are you absent? Taking long lunch breaks and forgetting the task at hand, then complaining when nothing is getting done?

Are you stubborn and demanding? Insisting that everything must be done your way or the whole project is off.

Are you a micromanager? Telling your employees not only what they must do but also stepping in and looking over their shoulder to make sure they are doing it exactly the same way that you would do it.

Are you one of those types that believes that no one can do the job as well as you can so, "I might as well do everything myself".

Whatever kind of boss you decide to be, your employees will do precisely what you ask, and meet your expectations of them good or bad.

So, what kind of boss should you be? What kind of boss do you like to work for?


Of course, you'd want a boss that knows how to get the job done and does it well. Someone who gives clear, simple instructions. Someone who can break down a complex task so that it is easy for all to understand without additional help. Someone who checks on your progress, but doesn't yell when you don't do things their way. Someone who doesn't judge you for doing things your own way. Someone who behaves as a coach rather than a dictator.

You have a team of invisible employees and assistants at your disposal, waiting for orders on which to act. They are right here, right now. They want to accomplish the task and make your life easier, so that the whole team looks good.

Would you like to give them a task, trust in their abilities to complete it? Check their progress and advise or adjust accordingly? Then celebrate your success together?

Or would you rather do it by yourself? The hard way? How has that been working out for you?

Crazy Little Thing Called Karma

Ah, karma! The cosmic version of Santa Claus. It knows what you did last night. It never forgets a name or address. It sees you when you're sleeping, and knows who you are sleeping with. karma is your best friend, and your worst enemy's worst nightmare. Karma is a bitch, and she takes no prisoners.

Humans love to make things personal. 

Perhaps it would help to think of karma as a machine. Just like those cameras at stoplights, it doesn't care that you're running late for your daughter's piano recital or that it was just a momentary lapse and you've never had a ticket in your life. The camera keeps clicking, no matter who you are. 

Karma is actually more like a computer program. 

It is programmed to do a task and will continue to do that unless something changes the program, slows it down or stops it. Sounds a bit like a scary movie, yes? Yet, you have nothing more to fear from karma than you do your toaster, it will not harm you if you use it correctly. You would not toast your bread on the rim of your bathtub as you sit in the water. 

Working with the karmic computer correctly means that every action you take must be run in the operating system, "LOVE". Otherwise, you will damage the program you are running, so that every action you take will fail, or work against you. This is not punishment or revenge, it is just the program doing its job. 

Another way humans interfere with the program, is to plot revenge on those who have harmed them, or, simply, refuse to forgive them. When you clog the operating system with either of these programs, the karmic computer grinds to a halt. Ironically, by seeking revenge or refusing forgiveness, you actually, save them from the karma they have created. How sweet of you! They probably don't even appreciate it.

When you forgive, you untether yourself from that person. You don't excuse their actions, you move away, and move on. Their karma is their business and yours is yours. 

You don't forgive for them, you forgive for yourself. If the situation can be resolved, so be it. If not, then you don't want to be in the fallout zone.

Jinnzania's side notes: I've been struggling with the issue of forgiveness for more than a year. I've gone through the traditional series of, pain, sadness, anger, resentment, anger, fear, anger, depression, anger and, finally, anger. Hmmmm.......I think I see where I might have been stuck. I was not only angry with the person, but furious with karma for allowing them to get away, unpunished. My elemental friends often speak to me in visions. One day, I saw myself tethered to a burning building, a house I'd once lived in. I realized I was attaching myself to an impending disaster that was no longer part of my life. I focused on forgiving, for myself, and felt much lighter and more free. During the last full moon, I asked for help to release the rest of it. I felt different, and was finally able to focus on my own life. Afterward, and very quickly, I might add, karma did its thing. As always, just to prove a point, it gave me a front row seat. 

Yes, karma works if we step away and let it do it's job. Forgive, release.....don't micromanage.

Time Traveler

If you could go back in time, and talk to your past self, what would that conversation be like? Would it be filed with dire warnings and fears, how to avoid the pitfalls ahead and minimize suffering? 

 

Would you tell yourself the winning lottery numbers and not to go out with the redhead you met at a friend's wedding? 

Would you tell yourself to go back to school? Or drop out because it won't help you in the end? Or write a book about the adventures of a young wizard and his friends?

Do you think that a different experience would be a better one? 

Your soul has come here to learn. Some lessons can be observed, some can be learned through the stories of others and some must be experienced for them to really sink in. 

Who are you to judge yourself? Sometimes your worst experience can break you free of a destructive pattern that was holding you back. Sometimes the safe, easy, pain free way would teach you nothing. 

And what if you did know then what you know now? Being on a limited budget can teach you things that you'd never learn if you won the lottery. A car accident might give you an opportunity to write a book, or, simply show you how precious life is and encourage you to make the most of it. 

This is not to say that you should wish ill upon yourself to grow and learn. When you have truly learned, you have no need to experience illness and catastrophe. You learn to flow and dance harmoniously with life. When problems arise, you handle them effortlessly, then you move forward. 

Yes, it is just that simple. Does this mean that knowing this, you will never experience pain or suffering again? Possibly, but humans love a good drama. Where else would all the wonderful songs and stories come from? 

Jinnzania's side notes: I was taking a walk today, and thinking about not only how far I've come in the past year, but how far I've come in the last decade. If I was able to go back and talk to my past self, she'd probably run away screaming. She would think me cruel and heartless for walking away from some relationships, crazy for starting others, and terrified of events to come. Fears of ending up alone, never having children, experiencing a pain from which I thought I'd never recover,  would seem like nightmares come to life. 

In those days, life was safer. It was also bland and dry. I was numb and in a deep sleep. Just as it takes a great deal of electricity to restart a heart, I needed a significant jolt to wake up, and boy, did I get it! My life isn't perfect, but I've never felt stronger, happier and more prepared to face the future. 

So, what would I tell my past self? The same thing my future self tells me now: Take small steps, keep your eyes open, be grateful for all you have, and enjoy every minute. If you do these things the future will take care of itself. And never forget, that you are perfect as you are, and loved more than your mind can comprehend. <3