Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Healing can be a messy business.  Emotional healing is extremely difficult for most people.  Many would rather heal from a broken leg than a broken heart.  A break that is improperly set can leave you damaged for life.  

You can put it off, deny it or suppress it with painkillers, but the problem remains until you chose to heal it. A bit of hard work is required,  but the ends always justify the means.  You will be glad you started the process.  Whether you’re healing from a death, divorce,  job loss or illness, healing takes time, but suppression and denial waste time. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself, but for Heaven’s sake, get started.  You owe it to yourself. 

Healing doesn’t take place all at once. There are steps, phases and plateaus and a qualified counselor is always helpful if you can afford it. If not, just think of Nellie Forbush from “South Pacific”.  Healing is not as simple as washing your hair, but it is a good place to start:

·         Lather-  Start the process. Get wet with a good cry, lather with some self-care and pampering.  It’s okay to feel the emotions. It may hurt, but you are only visiting the feelings, you are preparing to send them packing. It is temporary. You are setting out the boxes and trash bags and preparing to clean house. Things may look messy at this point, but that is okay.

·         Rinse-  Begin to let go. Release pain and heartbreak and allow healing to come in.  Purge your closets, get a new hairstyle, buy some new clothes. Perform a releasing ceremony. Have fun and laugh at every opportunity. You are rebirthing yourself for the better.  Let it show.

·         Repeat-  Healing can take a long time, but with each cycle of healing, you get better and stronger.  The sadness goes away and you have moments of joy and bliss. When the energy gets heavy, repeat the process. It gets easier each time.

Healing can be like a new workout routine.  It is hard to do in the beginning, but once you start to see results, you are encouraged to continue. You are worth it. ~Silas

Healing For Real

Healing is not a pretty process. Sometimes the medicine you must take is bitter. If healing is your goal, then you must take it. You cannot ask another person to take it for you.

Most problems people face in the healing process come from fighting it. Your doctors give you a pill to make symptoms go away that are part of the healing process. Then the problem gets worse. You need a new pill to treat the symptoms caused by the first pill that was used to treat your body's attempt to heal itself.

Healing from heartbreak is a similar process. There are no shortcuts. When you jump quickly into another relationship, you bring your old relationship issues with you. If you have not healed them or at least recognized them. You will experience them again.

Continuously moving from one relationship to another is no different from being a drug addict with a steady supply of drugs. To be truly healed, you must face the withdrawal symptoms. Cocaine is not a cure for cocaine addiction.

You do not need to sit alone and suffer while this process goes on. You can make it easier by using the energy for creative and constructive things. Writing, dance, music and art can be part of the healing process. Many artists have had difficult lives but used their pain to create.

Know that healing is a process, it will pass and when it does, you will feel lighter and more free. You will feel more confident, have more energy and be less dependent on others.

If you try to cheat it, you will only be cheating yourself. You are worthy of better things. Allow yourself the gift of anger, that breaks through obstacles, allow yourself the gift of uncertainty that will start you asking the questions that will put you on the right path, allow yourself the gift of tears that cleanse your heart and soul.

Hurts and injuries can and will stop you in your tracks. You must heal your feet if you want to walk down your life's path. ~ Silas

Jinnzania's side notes: My own healing journey has been long, painful and occasionally humiliating due to the thoughtless actions of a person I thought was my soulmate. He was my drug of choice. I would feel high when we we were together, and crash during long absences, (in which other women were probably feeling the same thing). "We", apparently, were all crazy. "We" didn't understand him. So "we" never checked his story. This part of "we" wouldn't have. I was stoned on the sociopath. When you've been hurt by someone with no capacity to feel pain, know that you will receive no help or closure. Don't think you will ever even have the chance to confront him. You are on your own. Keep your true friends close, for they will pull you up during your dark times. The journey is long, but the destination is worth it. "Cheat to win" was his philosophy. I'd rather just quit the game and take my life back. Every day, I get a little closer. I think most people in the world are good. Don't let one bad egg ruin it for you.

Using Pain For Gain

When your body is aching, or your heart is broken, it can be hard to imagine that any good can come of it.

When you exercise you feel satisfaction, exhilaration and accomplishment on some days. On others, after the initial rush, you feel pain. You don't want to continue to hurt the muscles, but working them gently allows healing to take place without causing severe injury. Eventually the muscles grow stronger for having endured minor injury and stress.

Your heart is an emotional muscle. You cannot "work it out" without extending yourself to another. This opens you up for possible pain. The ultimate goal of the heart is to give and receive love, but as your heart grows stronger, you will often experience pain. Those who treat sports injuries, use the acronym R.I.C.E. This stands for Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation.

So when your heart is hurting, remember:

Rest: Give yourself the time and space to get away from the situation. Know that you have an injury that must be treated.

Ice: Do not rush to use your heart while it is in this state. Allow the situation to "cool down". When the swelling has gone down, you can more clearly see the nature of the injury.



Compression: Surround your heart with the healing energy of supportive friends and family. Wrap yourself in love.

Elevation: Raise your vibration! Start by grabbing little bits of joy where you can find them. Stack them on top of each other when you have enough. Use them to make steps to climb higher and higher, until you have climbed out of your emotional hole and your heart can feel the rays of the sun.

Pain is never easy, but it gives you the opportunity to grow stronger. You will learn who your true friends are and sometimes find friends you never knew you had. Be gentle with yourself, always, and know that you will survive this pain. It is a gift, wrapped in ugly brown paper, that has the potential to change you life for the better. And you deserve a joyful and amazing life <3 Silas

Jinnzania's side notes: I wrote this blog yesterday with no idea how much I would need to hear these words. Nothing earth shattering, just an old festering wound that needed a good cleaning. As always, I turned to my most trusted friend and spilled my heart out while she listened with compassion, before giving me advice which, as always, was spot on. In my darkest hours I have discovered that I have a multitude of friends who show up like a big goofy marching band and don't leave until I have a smile on my face. For those of you who know my alter ego, she is grateful for all of you. Feeling empowered and getting stronger every day. With a little help from my friends <3