The Other "V" Word

There are many things that can be said about human addiction. It can take many destructive forms. Traditionally, a substance is involved, but all too often humans also become addicted to emotions, situations and people. The worst addiction you can have is that of being a victim.

"Why would one have such a silly addiction?" you ask. This puzzles us as well, and we were wondering the same thing. Yet you do it everyday.

"Why does this keep happening to me? Why will my weight not change? Why do others have the better jobs; homes; relationships?"

If all things are happening to you, then you are a victim. When you stop being a victim, things will get better. How do you do that? Well, you just stop.

Those brave souls who fight their own addictions to alcohol or drugs every day of their lives are a wonderful example. They may not know where they are headed, but they have the common sense to put on the brakes rather than continue to drive off the cliff.

They are a wonderful example to follow. Many of them are still filling in the holes in their lives which they had once used drugs or alcohol to fill. If they were to have a drink, or a smoke, they would feel momentarily better. They would feel whole again. Until they were not. The cycle would continue until the hole is filled from within.

Being a victim is a great emotional "high". It's quite fun actually. You can eat or drink whatever you want. You don't have to work and you can sleep with anyone you like. The best part is that whatever happens to you is never your fault. When things go badly, it's all about what other things, situations and people have done to you. The problem, as with any substance abuse, is that things will inevitably go badly.

You have within you, the ability to overcome all of your addictions. You are whole, perfect and complete with no assistance from other people, situations or substances. When you stop allowing things to be done to you, you gain the power to do things, then, magically, you are no longer the victim.

Then you learn that no one has been abusing you but yourself.

In the beginning, you must feel the pain and the emptiness. This can be frightening, but it only lasts until you begin to fill the holes. Filling yourself from within puts you in a place where no one can hurt you or take advantage of you. The longer you've been "addicted" to your victimhood, the bigger the holes are, but know that you have the power to fill them completely.

Victims traditionally, do not take action. So if you don't want to be one, then you must act. Stop what you are doing, and make a different choice. Don't take that drink, call a friend. Don't eat that cake, have a salad, or take a walk. Small steps strengthen you. Then bigger ones are possible. You can't do that, you say? Congratulations! You are a victim. Remove the "C" word from your vocabulary, and start doing things. It is a much more satisfying way to live.

When you trip on an object that is lying in the middle of the floor, do not curse it for the pain in your foot, pick it up, put it away, or throw it out. Wave your magic wand at those who try to hurt or take advantage of you and say, "Be gone! You have no power here!" Then dance down the yellow brick road of your choice. If a little girl from Kansas can do it, so can you. <3 Silas


Jinnzania's side notes: I've learned the hard way that being a victim is like walking around with a target on your forehead. I was telling the world, "Over here! I'm the one! Kick me, please!" I spent most of my adult life overweight. I would diet, feel sorry for myself, give in to a fattening treat and feel momentarily satisfied, then wonder why I couldn't lose weight. I would live in an unsatisfying relationship, just to be in one. I would be always anxious and insecure, but in those brief moments when the other person responded to me and briefly filled my emotional holes, all felt right in the world. Until they stopped. I allowed myself to be physically and emotionally screwed, as I chased that elusive high.

One day, I found myself in the street, having been kicked there by one of my favorite "addictions". After a few false starts, I allowed myself to feel the emptiness. Then I saw the holes. I started to fill them with love. As they filled, I noticed that I attracted a kinder gentler class of people. I had more friends than I ever imagined I could have and they loved me as I was with no strings attached. Life is better, sweeter and it projects in vivid technicolor. The Emerald City is in my heart, and there's no place like me.

Using Pain For Gain

When your body is aching, or your heart is broken, it can be hard to imagine that any good can come of it.

When you exercise you feel satisfaction, exhilaration and accomplishment on some days. On others, after the initial rush, you feel pain. You don't want to continue to hurt the muscles, but working them gently allows healing to take place without causing severe injury. Eventually the muscles grow stronger for having endured minor injury and stress.

Your heart is an emotional muscle. You cannot "work it out" without extending yourself to another. This opens you up for possible pain. The ultimate goal of the heart is to give and receive love, but as your heart grows stronger, you will often experience pain. Those who treat sports injuries, use the acronym R.I.C.E. This stands for Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation.

So when your heart is hurting, remember:

Rest: Give yourself the time and space to get away from the situation. Know that you have an injury that must be treated.

Ice: Do not rush to use your heart while it is in this state. Allow the situation to "cool down". When the swelling has gone down, you can more clearly see the nature of the injury.



Compression: Surround your heart with the healing energy of supportive friends and family. Wrap yourself in love.

Elevation: Raise your vibration! Start by grabbing little bits of joy where you can find them. Stack them on top of each other when you have enough. Use them to make steps to climb higher and higher, until you have climbed out of your emotional hole and your heart can feel the rays of the sun.

Pain is never easy, but it gives you the opportunity to grow stronger. You will learn who your true friends are and sometimes find friends you never knew you had. Be gentle with yourself, always, and know that you will survive this pain. It is a gift, wrapped in ugly brown paper, that has the potential to change you life for the better. And you deserve a joyful and amazing life <3 Silas

Jinnzania's side notes: I wrote this blog yesterday with no idea how much I would need to hear these words. Nothing earth shattering, just an old festering wound that needed a good cleaning. As always, I turned to my most trusted friend and spilled my heart out while she listened with compassion, before giving me advice which, as always, was spot on. In my darkest hours I have discovered that I have a multitude of friends who show up like a big goofy marching band and don't leave until I have a smile on my face. For those of you who know my alter ego, she is grateful for all of you. Feeling empowered and getting stronger every day. With a little help from my friends <3

The Flow

Life is a river of energy. When things are going well, you float effortlessly from one experience to another. Occasionally, you will find rocks or fallen trees in your path, but if you don't allow fear to get the better of you, you can easily navigate around them.

Often the flow is slow and gentle. You can get to where you want to go with subtle movements of the arms and legs. The journey can be one of ease and beauty if you allow it to be. You drift gently to your destination enjoying the coolness of the water and the beauty of the scenery that you pass.

Often we forget this potential for life to be easy and effortless. We panic and hold onto the rocks as we float into rougher waters. We get stuck and stall in the face of a fallen log or rocks that block our path. We mistakenly believe that the ride is over. Muscles tighten, fear rises, we believe that if we let go, all will be lost. Our most frightening thoughts will come to pass.

They will not come to pass, unless you stubbornly create them. When we are facing our deepest, darkest fears, and all seems lost, this is the time, that we give up and let go. We may flounder a bit, briefly dip below the water, but eventually, the water slows, and again, you find yourself in the gentle, easy flow.

Facing your fears pushes them into the light, and you can see that they are not as big as you thought. You relax and find a foothold, a small channel through which you can pass. Days, weeks and years of holding tightly against them, will tire you out. You will struggle more and have less energy to swim through them and past them.

When you feel afraid, tense, sad, confused or overwhelmed, know that fear is the cause, and that it is much smaller than you think. Stop. Close your eyes. Ask what this fear is, and what you need to face and conquer it. Then, when you have your answer. Let go. Enjoy the change, the thrill of the unknown. It is an adventure that leads to victory. And things will settle and you will find peace again. Every time.

Drama, Tragedy and Bad Hair Days

Your lives on this Earth, are a series of high and low points. It is a game, and as in all games, there are tests. It is hard to avoid these tests unless you want to live in a cave on the side of a mountain. Do not blame yourselves for these tests. Do not run from them. Sometimes the biggest gains require the biggest risks. Unfortunately, when your life is safe, you are unwilling to take them.

The Universe is madly in love with you and wants to give you only the best. A lukewarm existence is not good enough. So sometimes, just as one who loves you will do, it gives you a little push. When you are far out of your comfort zone, or have reached a "rock bottom" moment, you are more likely to act.

If you push aside the fear and drama, you can see the lesson clearly. Then it is up to you. You can continue to lash out at the spiritual "fairy godparent" who is trying to give you an amazing gift, or you can accept it. Wrinkled, plain paper wrapping and all.

Fear and judgment (which is also fear in a different package), are the biggest obstacles you face in preventing you from seeing these gifts. You might fear an uncertain future, even if you do not like your present, or make the judgment that something is too hard or not conventional. Failure at, or loss of a job might prompt you to find a better one that you love. The end of a romantic relationship might open the door for real love to come through.

Sometimes, when you have finally made a decision, you will encounter a glitch or unpleasant situation. Do not judge or doubt yourself. Do not rush to the conclusion that you have acted in error. Sometimes the Universe is simply making sure that the door to the past stays closed. Do not try to pick the lock. Walk away. Your dream may lie behind the next door.

Think to the biggest failures, or struggles in your life. How did they change your life? What did you learn about yourself and the situation? Did you fight the unpleasant event? Or let go and start in a new direction?

What is the biggest tragedy that could befall you right now? How would you react? Why would it be a tragedy? And what will you do about it right now? Be brave, take risks, and accept the gift Spirit is offering you. This would make the Universe so happy!

Jinnzania's side notes: So many times in my life, I've fought to keep a bad situation in my life. I'd know it was wrong for me and I needed move on, but I'd just hang on tighter fighting to grind that square peg into the round hole while the Universe was trying to hand me a barrel full of round pegs, if I'd only let go and take them.

I recently had a rough day at work. One of those days where you ask, "So, why am I doing this again?" I got really depressed and had a little meltdown in my office. So I asked, "Why is this happening?" The answer that came was that I was leaving that job soon (contract work), and that I had already decided to relocate and find one closer to my friends and family. The Universe was just reminding me of that, as I had recently applied for a job in my current area. Suddenly it made perfect sense. I had made the right decision but now I was looking backwards. I took a deep breath, reaffirmed my decision to move back home, then finished my lunch break and returned to the office. When I returned, I received a hug from my coworker and was reassured that my work was just fine and my contribution to the project was valued. Just a little change of attitude and all the drama went away. *Sigh* ....And the Oscar goes to..........

Hero in the Mirror

Humans love to create heroes. You look up to your celebrities and athletes. You have a special place in your hearts for your spiritual guides and leaders. You hang on their every word. You rush in to protect them when they are under attack. Even when the attack is justified.

When they let you down, you fall hard. It is as though a dream has died. Santa Claus does not bring the presents. The Easter Bunny does not hide the eggs. It hits you as though you were still a vulnerable child.

You tend to pick heroes just as you pick romantic partners. You see in them, the qualities that you feel you lack. You see a level of ability you wish you had and believe that somehow, your hero worship will bring it to you.

It is alright to admire a person for their talents and abilities. You can respect a person for the guidance they give, or the lessons they offer, but worshipping them, takes the pressure off of you. You do not need to succeed, someone is doing it for you. You do not need to be brave. Someone has enough courage for a hundred people.

This is another reason why you are so affected by fallen heroes. Now, you are expected to do the work yourself. You are the one who must play the instrument, sing the song, write the book, run for office. Success is a lot of work. Much easier to let someone else do it while you complain that you could never be that way.

You can be that way. You can be any way you choose.

Look to the people you admire. What qualities do they have? Are these qualities that you lack? Or do you just not do something as well as they do? Do you resonate with the words of a particular leader or teacher? Are you putting into practice what they teach, or do you just stand back and admire the words?

Look in the mirror, and know, that you are amazing! You are capable! You can do anything you set your mind to and no one else can do the unique job that you were put on this Earth to do.

Then when you find that the celebrity whose courage you admire, ran and hid in a crisis, a beautiful actress had plastic surgery, the athlete you have been trying to emulate took illegal drugs, you will be fine, because the qualities you admire, are inside of you. You have become your own hero!

Jinnzania's side notes: when I was a child, I thought it would be fun to be famous. I pretended to sing and dance for an invisible audience. I thought it would be great for people to look at me lovingly, admiring my talent and putting me on a pedestal. I was always looking outward, because I was never good enough. Whenever an idea inspired me, I would quickly let it go, because someone else could do it better. I never tried, so I never failed. I didn't have the patience or confidence when I was younger and as I got older it seemed that everything took too long to learn, or I didn't dare as I was somehow unworthy.

In the past year, I've been thrust from my comfort zone, so failing and looking silly became less of an issue. So, I've tried new things and new ways of doing things. I've taken chances and taken bigger steps. As a result, I've learned that I am a unique and powerful being. I have begun to appreciate my strengths and work around my weaknesses. I love being me! I wouldn't want to take on the experience of another no matter how much I love and admire them.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go, the citizens of Earth need me! Fairy powers, ACTIVATE!

Sticks and Stones

Words. They are simply sounds that pass through your lips that have over millenia, been given meaning. You can say the meanest thing that your mind can think of and fail to do any physical damage to the person you are talking to. So, words cannot hurt. Not if you don't allow them to. If you allow their energy to penetrate your aura, they can not only hurt, they can kill.

This gives you dual responsibility. You must not allow the words of others to affect you. You can shield yourself, walk away or simply do not listen. Know that the words are a reflection of the person who speaks them. You need not be affected by them at all.

This also means that you are responsible for the words you speak. Not every person is properly shielded. Some have issues with confidence and self-esteem. The wrong words spoken at the wrong time, can send a person into an emotional tailspin. They are responsible for the reality they create, but the karma your words create will come back to you, always.

A person who feels well but goes to the doctor and is told he or she is sick, will usually become so. You have great respect for your doctors, many are great healers, but do not let them dicatate how you feel.

People such as doctors, healers, politicians and celebrities are percieved to have words that carry more meaning than the rest of you. This is not true, unless you decide that it is.

Your own words are very powerful. Your negative self talk will always bring about the situation that you are fearing.

Is it hard to earn a living, you say? Then it shall be. Is it a struggle to lose weight? Very well then, enjoy the struggle. You cannot pass the test because you are just not smart enough? Perhaps you will decide that you are smarter when you are re-taking it. That would be a better choice. You doubt your ability to manifest, yet you do it all the time, and brilliantly! So why not manifest something you actually want?

Listen to your self talk. Look at the issues you have. What lies have you told yourself about shortcomings and imperfections?

Would you like to change your life? Then change your story.....and give it a happy ending.

Jinnzania's side notes: As a writer, I have been learning to use my words very carefully. I have been more observant of the words of others and how they affect me as well as how they affect the person speaking. When I find that life has become a struggle, I look to the words and the story I've been telling myself. In the days when I owned birds, I was always made aware of things that I was saying. The birds would repeat them at random. If a bird picks it up, then your'e saying it a lot, or with a lot of emphasis. If you don't have a parrot, find a friend. One who will be honest with you in a loving way (yes, this is possible), and ask them to monitor your words. It can be a very illuminating experience. When something comes up, think about how you might say it differently. Make it a game, have fun with it. If it gets ridiculous, and makes you laugh, then you're already in a better place.

A Message Just For You

Shhhhh! The Universe is talking. It has a special message just for you. It is too bad that you will most likely ignore it. You will turn away and cover your ears, because, you don't like the way the message has been conveyed, or do not approve of the messenger. Perhaps the messenger does not have lofty credentials or has not written a book. Perhaps their clothing or hairstyle is not to your liking. Perhaps the messenger is a two year old child, or a dog, and you are a cat person.

Spirit has a message for everyone. Every minute of every day, and it is personal. It is what you need to hear. Just like the story of the blind men and the elephant, the same message might be interpreted differently by different people, or affected by who is giving the message.

Every prayer, petition or question is answered. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you, sometimes the answer, is "wait, we have a better idea".

Life is not meant to be a mystery. It is easily understood without years of work and schooling.
You do not need to buy a book, rent a DVD or see an inspirational speaker in person to get the answers that you need. While these things can be helpful, the answers are at your fingertips without having to spend a single penny.

It is much easier to see the message if you give up judgement and open your ears. Often people will close their ears when they hear the word, "God", for instance, because of a painful religious upbringing, or another person might not want to hear a message from your "God" because He is quoted from a different book, or He is She. Being open means understanding that the message might be, "this is not what you want to do". A person whose actions have offended you might have something meaningful to say, but you will miss it because you cannot bring yourself to believe that they have anything important to teach you.

Children and animals are among the most pure channels for Divine wisdom, but we have been taught that someone without formal education cannot have anything of importance to say. And there is a belief that animals have no souls, so how could they be messengers? They can be messengers because no one has told them they cannot be. No one has instilled that self-doubt, that would keep them from believing it.

Sometimes those who have wronged you have messages. They do not realize they are messengers. They speak as though speaking for themselves, but they have something to say that has meaning for you, if you can put aside your feelings and hear it. This does not mean you condone what they have done. It's not about them. The message is for you. They are not the message, but the channel, unconscious or not. Do not let them spoil it for you. It is your gift from Spirit.

When you want an answer, or need to hear a special message, then ask; make the request; and listen. The message may be from God. Perhaps She is trying to tell you something.

Jinnzania's side notes: I was once asked by a man with whom I was having a relationship: "Why don't you love yourself as much as other people love you?" Ironically, when he proved himself to be a liar and a manipulator and caused more pain and heartbreak than I had ever felt in my life, I found out that his words were true. Many people did love me. Some of them so much that they wouldn't allow me to sell myself short. They came out of the woodwork to offer assistance any hour of the day or night. I had forgotten that message, because I was trying to forget him. The message had nothing to do with him. He had no amazing Divine wisdom. He could have read that on a bumper sticker. Spirit used him to send me a message. As I've learned to forgive and move on, I've become more open. I still struggle with that message, but it is coming in more clearly. If only it had come from my dog :(