Save the Baby; Lose the Bathwater

Much of your conscious existence is spent seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.  This is as it should be. Pleasure means you have done something right. It may be only one small thing, but it is something. Well done!  Pain, whether it be from your physical body or from your emotions indicates that something is wrong. You have taken a wrong turn and are temporarily lost. 

So, stop. Check your GPS, find out where you’ve gotten off the right road and try again. Don’t abandon the journey because of a left turn that should have been a right. Get back to your center, fuel up, and try again, armed with fresh knowledge and a new direction. Try a right turn, or a different left. Just stay on the road and keep driving. 

You may be lost due to past religious or spiritual beliefs, so you think all spiritual practice is bad.  You may have had your heart broken, so you believe that love is pain. Your job is unsatisfying, but past experience tells you the next one might be worse, so why look elsewhere?

Some of your youth sports programs have been criticized for giving awards to all who participate. “It lessens the victory”, they say, “They are being rewarded just for showing up”.  That is not the purpose of the awards.  The idea is that they are being rewarded for trying, even if they didn’t win. Winning is a good goal to strive for, but in teaching that winning is the only thing, you lose the lessons and experiences that we get from trying and not winning. The prestige of winning is a judgment.  It is about showing off the skills you already have. In loss, there  is learning and opportunities for growth. The winners in a game see what works, the losers see what doesn’t. Only our judgment implies that one is better than the other. Many of the world’s biggest  “winners” only won after huge and devastating losses.

Not every dancer is a prima ballerina, not every vocalist is an opera singer. If we discouraged everyone for not rising to this level of  “greatness”, we would have no pop singers or jazz dancers. No nightclubs or Hollywood.  Also, not everyone likes ballet and opera.

Don’t stop trying because your life isn’t perfect, or you’ve experienced pain. Keep trying because of that. 

Pull out the baby. Dry her off. Let her play another day, then fill the tub with clean water. 

Embrace your failures and bad experiences as much as your good ones, for they are your teachers and stepping stones. If nothing else, you will have some amazing stories to tell, and perhaps be the most popular one at the party. ~Silas