Leaving Behind to Move Forward

There are times when a relationship has, simply, run its course. People come together for a reason.

Sometimes they continue to grow and learn together. These are the relationships that last.

Two people often come together to meet and fulfill a need, or explore a common interest. As long as the need is present or both still have the same interest, the relationship will continue.

Letting go of a relationship doesn’t make you a bad person. You are not meant to stand still or wait for others to catch up.

You may not be ready to go down the path another is going. Respect yourself. You may need more time or you may need to take another path.

It is natural for some people to drift out of your life. It doesn’t have to be an ugly thing. As you release past relationships with love, new ones will drift into your life. 

If a relationship ends badly, then let it go. Do not exhaust yourself trying to make it work.

Good relationships require work, compromise and understanding, but one party should not have to do all the work.

 

If all efforts to remedy the relationship have failed, then it might have evolved beyond its usefulness and must be released.

The decision is always personal, but when a relationship is only causing grief and stress then have no guilt about letting it go.

You free yourself and allow the other party the responsibility of taking charge of their own life. That is a difficult gift for some to accept, but it brings power and strength and will ultimately take the person to a better place.

Letting go is not abandonment, but release. 

Sometimes you will find yourself released by another. Do not try to follow, they will return at an appropriate time if it is meant to happen. If it is not, then you are better off.

Give yourself the gift of release, assured in the knowledge that you are all that you need, and other companions will follow in time.

Some relationships last a lifetime, others are fleeting. They all happen for a reason. A long relationship is not better than a short one. It is only shorter. A painful relationship can be a life-changing lesson.

Your relationship with Spirit will never abandon you. Even in the absence of all companionship fairies, angels and spirit guides hover about you sending you love and encouragement. 

You are never alone. ~Silas

Living Toxic

Most of you are aware that toxins are dangerous.  At high levels, they can be deadly, at lower levels, they weaken and wear you down.

They can come from foods you eat, products you use, your physical environment and relationships.

When you find yourself feeling exhausted all of the time, think about these things.

What kind of foods are you eating? Do you take in a lot of artificial ingredients and chemicals? What are your cosmetics and toiletries made of? Are you breathing in polluted air, indoors or outside? Who do you spend the most time with?

Toxins come from a variety of sources and often you don’t feel their effects until it is too late.

With foods and environmental factors, you can eliminate and then see how you feel.

Personal relationships are harder. Karma may bring you close to people who challenge you and drain your energy.

Once you have learned the karmic lesson, you have no need to hold on to a toxic relationship, in fact, the lesson may be the act of breaking free itself.

Low-level toxins are a part of life on Earth. There are many that occur naturally that are hard to avoid.

You will never eliminate all toxic substances from your life, so do not obsess over it. Do the best you can to eat healthy, clean foods and avoid environmental pollutants.

A relationship that drains you is not in your best interest. Look for the lesson in it, then lovingly move on.

This does not make you a bad person. You have a right to good feelings and radiant health. 

Life on Earth is a gift. If you are not enjoying it, then you are not doing it right. Do not judge yourself for this, few of you are. 

You can always change and try new things while eliminating that which poisons you.

Look for and learn about the toxins you take in every day. At the lowest levels, toxins may make you sick or tired.

At higher levels or years of constant exposure they can kill. All of them. 

Take back your body and spirit. They are your vehicles for learning, growing and fulfilling your destiny on this planet. 

They are the only ones you’ve got. This time. Why not make this time, the best time of your lives. ~Silas

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Healing can be a messy business.  Emotional healing is extremely difficult for most people.  Many would rather heal from a broken leg than a broken heart.  A break that is improperly set can leave you damaged for life.  

You can put it off, deny it or suppress it with painkillers, but the problem remains until you chose to heal it. A bit of hard work is required,  but the ends always justify the means.  You will be glad you started the process.  Whether you’re healing from a death, divorce,  job loss or illness, healing takes time, but suppression and denial waste time. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself, but for Heaven’s sake, get started.  You owe it to yourself. 

Healing doesn’t take place all at once. There are steps, phases and plateaus and a qualified counselor is always helpful if you can afford it. If not, just think of Nellie Forbush from “South Pacific”.  Healing is not as simple as washing your hair, but it is a good place to start:

·         Lather-  Start the process. Get wet with a good cry, lather with some self-care and pampering.  It’s okay to feel the emotions. It may hurt, but you are only visiting the feelings, you are preparing to send them packing. It is temporary. You are setting out the boxes and trash bags and preparing to clean house. Things may look messy at this point, but that is okay.

·         Rinse-  Begin to let go. Release pain and heartbreak and allow healing to come in.  Purge your closets, get a new hairstyle, buy some new clothes. Perform a releasing ceremony. Have fun and laugh at every opportunity. You are rebirthing yourself for the better.  Let it show.

·         Repeat-  Healing can take a long time, but with each cycle of healing, you get better and stronger.  The sadness goes away and you have moments of joy and bliss. When the energy gets heavy, repeat the process. It gets easier each time.

Healing can be like a new workout routine.  It is hard to do in the beginning, but once you start to see results, you are encouraged to continue. You are worth it. ~Silas

Love You Forever

Learning to love yourself first, does not mean that you will be single for the rest of your life, or lose interest in the opposite sex. It means that no one will ever be able to deprive you of love again.

When you love yourself, you will attract partners, not rescuers. A potential mate will enhance and support the relationship you have with yourself rather than fill in the missing pieces.

You are not predestined to be with a particular partner or to be alone. To be in a romantic relationship is a choice. To be single is an equally valid choice. The vilification of the word "single" has destroyed lives as people run from partner to partner desperately seeking "the one". Holding desperately to relationships which are not working, or never giving a relationship the time and energy it deserves because it doesn't feel like "the one".

The "one" you seek is already in your heart. This is the relationship you should nurture and never give up on.

If you could see yourself as we do, you would never need to search for love again, but if you like the feeling and want more, it will be attracted to you.

All beings on this planet are made of love. This is a fact. The ability to feel that love is a choice. The way you feel that love is a choice. Choose wisely. ~Silas

The Greatest Love Story

My Earthbound friends, I must tell you. You have been lied to. Your models and ideas of love are completely inaccurate. This is why so many of your relationships are doomed to failure.

You have been brainwashed to run away from what is love, and chase what is fairy tale (although, we Fae will not take credit for this).

You have princesses, who rush to marry men they have just met. People who cannot live without each other. A person with a big, gaping hole in their heart, desperate to find someone to fill it.

Your models for the ultimate romance are two children from dysfunctional families, who come together and find a few moments of peace and sanity in their troubled lives. They immediately wed in secret, and proceed to have a relationship that is so co-dependent that they commit suicide when their lives have just begun, rather than go on alone.

Think about it. This is your most famous example of romance. No wonder you are confused.

The first mistake you often make is to find a hole, or missing piece that needs filling. Then you look outside of yourselves to fill it. When the relationship ends, the hole opens up again. You feel empty, and rush to find another to fill it up again. You beat yourself up for being alone.

Would it surprise you to know that those with he most love in their hearts are often those who are not in relationships? Those you make fun of when you are attached to someone, and cry to when the relationship fails? Yes, they are the ones, who have filled in their own holes and missing pieces. They can be alone or in a relationship and not lose their identity.

When they love, they attract a person who is also complete. They can choose to grow with this person, and accept them as they are. They do not need to pretend to be someone else to please their partner. If the relationship ends they part friends and continue with their lives without the suicide or other drama.

Love does not drop on you like a bomb. It sneaks up and curls around you like a shy kitten. It grows from friendship or a working relationship. It is quietly holding hands in a corner rather than, passionately kissing in public.

How do you know you're in love? Love is not a switch that is turned on or off. When you get there, you won't care that you are in love, you will not rush to update your relationship status. You will enjoy every moment of the experience and not worry about who knows about it or where it is headed.

But most of all, you will love yourself. Completely and unconditionally love yourself, and death cannot part you. ~Silas

Jinnzania's side notes: Since my divorce was finalized, I have been single, in a relationship and casually dated. It took spending time alone and getting to know my own energy to make me realize that I love who I am and don't want to have to change to be in a relationship. On my last date the Universe showed me this in a very frightening way.

I accepted a date with a neighbor who had helped me with my car. He started to text me hours before the date, asking me what I was wearing. I joked that I was wearing a skirt and that he might want to go another way. He answered that I would look sexy whatever I wore (red flag #1). In the car he made small talk constantly bringing the subject back to how pretty I looked and that I had a nice body (#2). After drinks we went to a place he wanted to show me. He grabbed me and kissed me as soon as we were out of the car (#3 and what should have been the "take me home NOW!" moment). We'd both had a few drinks and I pushed him away telling him that I wasn't ready. We walked further and at every available moment, he would grab me and kiss me (red flag too many). I pushed him away, each time his hands slipping further underneath my clothes. He told me that everyone in my social circle was lying to me. He told me two of our neighbors were drug addicts (I'm the only one you can trust).

Years ago I would have fallen for this, (and did a few times). He was controlling, possessive and manipulative. In one person, I saw all of my past relationship mistakes. With the help of the local police, I told him I did not want another date.

Even if he hadn't been a perverted freak, I would have had to suppress and censor myself to be with him. This will not happen any more. If you can't see and appreciate all of the things I am learning to love about myself, then there is no point in trying to have a relationship. If you can't handle me unfiltered and uncensored, then you are not worth my time.