Loving Your Past

As you look back at your life. You will see that you have come a long way.

You may have lost weight, found a better job, you stand taller, prouder, you have walked away from abusive situations, and learned to stand up or yourself. You are proud of who you are, and you hate who you once were. We ask you not to be so hard on your past self. After all, they did the best they could, and didn't have the advantages that you have.

You proudly go to the gym and pound your muscles into submission. You have become a workout warrior, enjoying the sweat and the minor aches and pains. The struggles you faced however are nothing compared to the task faced by the person you once were. That person fought low self-esteem and inertia, went outside for walks feeling that their too large body made them the object of ridicule. They kept going, fighting a daily battle bravely gaining ground through hard work and perseverance.

You go home after work and relax. You are now able to work smarter, and have all but forgotten the days of working hard for a low wage and little respect. The person, who updated their resume on their off time and kept looking, calling and updating their skills so that you could have a job you love.

You love who you have become. You forget the days when your heart was broken and you used every bit of strength you had to force yourself to get up in the morning. The person you were had to face and process a lot of pain to get you to this point. Healing is not for the weak.

Always be grateful for who you are right now, but do not hate who you were. It is that brave soul that one day said, "ENOUGH", and made a difficult decision to change. This person is the real giant slayer, this is the warrior who stood in front of the enemy and gave their life for the cause.

Love always, who you are, but also love and cherish who you were. True heroes deserve a bit of worship. ~Silas

Jinnzania's side notes: Looking back at my past, I found it easy to become angry with myself. I was vulnerable and weak. I believed everything I was told without question. I was overweight, so I didn't feel like I needed to worry about my appearance. I sat home and did nothing for nearly two decades.

Then one day, in meditation, I got in touch with my past self. I felt her fear, her feeling of powerlessness. She felt that she was all alone in the world, even when people were surrounding her.

I realized that it wasn't me who made the big changes in my life that brought me to a much better place. It was her. With all the odds against her, she fought to keep living. She survived and sacrificed her life so that I could have the life I have now. My gratitude and love for her grew. I let go of my anger and embraced my past.

Every experience I've ever had in my life, good or bad, has led me to this point. I like where I am. I love what I'm doing to make my life better, and I love what she did, when she had much less to work with. She is my past, she is gone, she is my hero.